Soul radiation in the dead of night

She extended the tongue
sliced in half as the lizard's restless sign
language
penetrated the screens of my heart
attack
delusion
while I've been stealing poem titles
from Pop's old
lyrics...

we've had cold coffee
& bourbon on ice
ice on the windowsill
snow on our angels long gone
clipped
heartaches
while the winter was dyin'
and so were our clothes...

"damn, it's beating so loud
I can hear the meat
through your murmured
lectures..."
she said
collecting dregs
sediments
ashes
pretending she's feline enough
to make it
halfway through
residues of unburnt powder
sludges from washing and cleaning
or spirits in the house
knockin' at the greasy
windows...

Electric light's gone
3 AM's gettin' closer
& the supper's not ready
I'd yell at her
I'd beat her up
only I'm not that
type
& she'd kill me earlier

she took hold of a little kitchen knife
she looked as if she's gonna
use it
to stop the goddamn beat
the heart's delirious
ramblings
to offer the poet salvation
& save him from his
monsters
evacuate his longing
make him write w/ the monkeys
in heaven
make him finally
smile & starve...

a hopeless little girl
pretending to be my whore
choosin' resentment
over
disguise
& masks above all
freedoms
freedoms above all
classes

& I miss her now...
even standin' at the opposite
river's
muddy
bank